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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Egilsstaðir Church. It’s this cute little building, all white and charming. I walk in, and it’s peaceful. I’m just soaking it all in when this kid runs in, yelling about a lost cat. I mean, who loses a cat in a church? It’s like, “Dude, focus!” But then, I can’t help but laugh.

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